View Full Version : Stumanji's Movie Report Card Thread


Stumanji
03-16-2004, 01:16 PM
In this thread, I'll post up the reviews of movies as I see them. I watch a lot of films, so this post may grow and grow.

Grading:
A+ = An instant classic. You'll tell your grandkids about this one.
A = A truly remarkable film. You have to watch this.
A- = A highly enjoyable movie with some very minor flaws.
B+ = A very good movie, should give you something to do on Friday nights before the LAN.
B = A good theater movie and worth the $22.50 for popcorn and soda as well.
B- = A good movie to see in theaters if you've already watched everything else.
C+ = A so-so movie, that has its ups and downs.
C = Worth watching, but make it a rental.
C- = Have someone else rent it, then mooch off them.
D+ = Watch it if it's free, and if you've really got nothing better to do.
D = You'll feel guilty if you actually sat through the whole thing.
D- = Get ready to cringe at this suckfest.
F = Make someone watch this film as punishment.

Key: Title - Format of the Film - Grade - Review

Kill Bill Vol. 2 - Theater - A - Okay, this may be a bit of a biased review. I bought Kill Bill Vol 1 on Tuesday, and I watched it three times in three days. The first film is terrific. It's so unusual, that it's refreshing. The second half of the Kill Bill movie is different from the first. I'd rather not ruin it for you, but if you hated the first one, you may actually like the second one. If you loved the first one, you may not like it... but you probably will. This film isn't as action packed, or over the top... but that's what makes it refreshing when compared to the first. And, you will laugh when you see this movie. There are very funny moments.
PS - David Carradine is a bad ass.

13 Going On 30 - Theater - B+ - This was a surprisingly enjoyable film. The premise of the movie kind of turned me off since it's been done so many times before, but it was a unique take on the "Glimpse of What May Come" story. It's rather funny, and the 80's pop culture references are always enjoyable. And, heck, who would turn down a chance to see Jennifer Garner in tight clothing for 2 hours? PS - Andy Serkis (aka Gollum) appears in the film.

Envy - Theater - C- - It is with a heavy heart that I report this one. Jack Black. Ben Stiller. Rachel Weisz. Christopher Walken. So much potential for great comedy. But, there wasn't much great comedy. I laughed probably three times during the flick, and I did something I usually never do in a movie: I actually checked my watch. That's never a good sign. I'd wait for a rental on this one.

Troy - Theater - A- - I had mixed feelings walking into the theater. I wanted this movie to be great, but I had the feeling that it was going to be an over-hyped cheese-fest. I was wrong. It really is good. It's a "Cliff's Notes" version of the story, but it's very entertaining, and the battles are reminiscent of Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Runs a little long, but with a story like this, you have to expect that.

The Day After Tomorrow - Theater - B+ - Yay for disaster films! I gotta admit, it was better than I expected. The pacing is pretty superb and the visuals are insane. The acting is right on par, and as you should expect from Roland Emmerich (Godzilla, Independence Day) lots of things are destroyed and the destruction is intercut with those moments meant to make you sad. But, how sad can you be watching Los Angeles get destroyed? I mean, seriously?
Fun Fact: Jake Gyllenhaal, who plays Dennis Quaid's son in the film, was considered for the role of Spider-Man/Peter Parker.

Gothika - Widescreen DVD- B - Spooky. This is one of those movies that had me on edge for most of the film. The "scary" moments are well done, in the classic "slow reveal" way. The movie went places I wasn't expecting, which is a good thing. The ending was surprising but troubling, plot-wise. Good enough to rent on a dark stormy night while watching all alone.

The House of Sand and Fog - Widescreen DVD - C+ - This was a unique movie in that the hype for it probably spoiled it too much for me. The movie is presented in a manner that has the viewer sympathizing for TWO opposing characters. This isn't a common approach in story-telling (though it has been done) and it's easy to see why: you're supposed to sympathize with both characters, but you end up choosing one over the other. Problems. Good though, just not great. Except the acting - that was great.

Shrek 2 - Theater - B - Pretty funny, but it could have been better. There were a dozen laugh-out-loud moments in the film, but I was hoping for more LOL moments, personally. I didn't think it was better than the original, for a couple reasons. One, they rely too much on pop-culture references in this film (yes... more than the original did) which will make it dated real fast. Second, the story wasn't quite as original as the first film. But, it's enjoyable with some pretty big laughs.
Word of Advice: If you choose to watch this film in theaters, I suggest a late showing, on a weekday -- avoid the little children.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - Theater - B - If you're a die hard HP film fan, then you may be a bit turned off by the film. The new director took plenty of visual liberties with the story, changing much of the landscape of Hogwarts, and costumes as well. Overall, it's about 85% faithful to the book, with much of the changes probably coming from time constraints. There were some scenes that were not included that I would have loved to see, but oh well. Overall, it was pretty good, fans of the book won't be disappointed.

The Chronicles of Riddick - Theater - B - I bought Pitch Black about a week before I saw this film to refresh my mind on Riddick. The story is a bit grand on scale for this kind of character, and I think it would have made a fitting third installment. That said, I'm curious to see how this will tie in to the follow-up (if indeed the third film is a follow-up and not a prequel). The film is entertaining and action packed, about what you'd expect. Diesel may not get an Oscar, but he plays his part well. Didn't enjoy the ending, much, but I enjoyed my time in the theater.

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story - Theater - B+ - There is a way to prepare yourself for a movie like this: don't have high hopes. I didn't, and I really enjoyed myself. I thought the film was hilarious. I think it's going to be one of those movies like BASEketball, Super Troopers, and Dumb and Dumber that gets funnier each time you watch it. The supporting cast is hilarious. Stiller is right-on with basically the same fitness-obsessed character he played in Heavyweights. A good movie to laugh at.

Stumanji
03-29-2004, 07:58 PM
Hey, look at that!

It's updated!

Airstotle
03-29-2004, 08:27 PM
Gosh I feel like I don't even have to see them now. Great job on the reviews and for the ones I too have seen, I agree with your ratings.

Stumanji
04-05-2004, 12:53 PM
Three new ones, kids!

Stumanji
04-16-2004, 10:41 PM
Kill Bill review added.

Excessive
04-16-2004, 10:46 PM
So in Kill Bill Vol 2 does blood squirt out of missing limbs like its coming out of a garden hose? i hated that in the first one.

Stumanji
04-16-2004, 10:48 PM
:pm:

M4LFUNCT10N
04-16-2004, 10:50 PM
I have to rent the first one so I can see the second. I'm a big fan of Quentin Tarantino films.

Excessive
04-16-2004, 10:54 PM
Originally posted by Stumanji
:pm:

PMs are for private mesages. The question I asked was something that others my want to know also. ;)

Stumanji
04-16-2004, 11:05 PM
Originally posted by Excessive
PMs are for private mesages. The question I asked was something that others my want to know also. ;)

Yes, I know the purpose of PM's... However, if people want to know something about a movie, they can ask me... and I'll send them a PM. Some people may want that information, but other people, like me, would rather not know anything revealing about a movie before I watch it (if I intend to watch it).

Excessive
04-16-2004, 11:11 PM
Originally posted by Stumanji
Yes, I know the purpose of PM's... However, if people want to know something about a movie, they can ask me... and I'll send them a PM. Some people may want that information, but other people, like me, would rather not know anything revealing about a movie before I watch it (if I intend to watch it).

That question I asked is no more revealing than any of your reviews. I didnt ask the ending of the movie, or about who dies and when. I simply asked about a directing style that i disliked in the first movie.

DiscoDave
04-16-2004, 11:18 PM
Originally posted by Excessive
So in Kill Bill Vol 2 does blood squirt out of missing limbs like its coming out of a garden hose? i hated that in the first one.
No.

There's a lot less action in this one, and a lot more dialogue.

Excessive
04-16-2004, 11:25 PM
Originally posted by DiscoDave
There's a lot less action in this one, and a lot more dialogue.

I think I'll wait and get it from Netflix then.

Stumanji
04-16-2004, 11:45 PM
Originally posted by Excessive
That question I asked is no more revealing than any of your reviews. I didnt ask the ending of the movie, or about who dies and when. I simply asked about a directing style that i disliked in the first movie.

You asked about an element of the movie that was pretty major in the first film, that Dave has revealed to everyone is missing from the 2nd film...

If I asked "Does Spider-Man 2 have web-slinging?" and the answer was "No" would that reveal a major change from the first movie to the second one? I'd think so, and I would not want that information revealed.

Excessive
04-17-2004, 12:47 AM
Originally posted by Stumanji
You asked about an element of the movie that was pretty major in the first film, that Dave has revealed to everyone is missing from the 2nd film...

If I asked "Does Spider-Man 2 have web-slinging?" and the answer was "No" would that reveal a major change from the first movie to the second one? I'd think so, and I would not want that information revealed.

You said it yourself in your own review "This film isn't as action packed, or over the top..."




Its not possible to do a movie review without talking about the movie. Read your own reviews and then tell me you don't give away something about each movie. You say something about each movie you have reviewed.

If Someone is that serious about staying in the dark about a movie before they see it, they will never read a review (That includes this thread) and never watch movie previews at the theater.

Are you the only one capable of deciding what people should know about a movie before they see it?


And Shame on you DiscoDave. You have just given away the whole plot to the movie and now nobody will want to see it.

Let me guess, Bill dies at the end of the movie.

DiscoDave
04-17-2004, 09:45 AM
Originally posted by Stumanji
You asked about an element of the movie that was pretty major in the first film, that Dave has revealed to everyone is missing from the 2nd film...
If people didn't want to know ANYTHING about a movie, they wouldn't read reviews.

Ender
04-17-2004, 09:52 AM
all I have to say is roooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooofl. :rofl:

Stumanji
04-17-2004, 12:21 PM
My reviews don't give away major plot spoilers or artistic spoilers... The loss of blood in Kill Bill vol 2 is a pretty major change. Look at the blood in Kill Bill vol 1, and it's spraying all over the place... It's a pretty big part of the first film, what made people love it, or what made people hate it...

Saying "It isn't as over-the-top or as action packed" is not revealing much of anything. I could say that, and then you could watch the movie and see that she kills 84 people in the first with excessive loss of limbs, and only 76 in the second with a great loss of limbs, but not as much as the first... The fact remains "it's not as over-the-top or as action packed"...

Does that suggest a big change from one movie to the next? Not really.

Verbal
04-17-2004, 12:45 PM
um, yeah I haven't seen it yet. . . so um, if you could keep it down . . . :D lol honestly how does it rank as a Quentin Terantino film?

Excessive
04-17-2004, 01:19 PM
Originally posted by Stumanji
My reviews don't give away major plot spoilers or artistic spoilers... The loss of blood in Kill Bill vol 2 is a pretty major change. Look at the blood in Kill Bill vol 1, and it's spraying all over the place... It's a pretty big part of the first film, what made people love it, or what made people hate it...



Artistic Spoilers? Come on, get over it.

Stumanji
05-05-2004, 12:26 PM
mmmmm.... bump...

Stumanji
05-15-2004, 02:14 PM
Added:

13 Going On 30
Envy
Troy

Stumanji
05-30-2004, 01:21 PM
Graded:
The Day After Tomorrow
Gothika
The House of Sand and Fog
Shrek 2

Stumanji
06-21-2004, 03:19 PM
Added:
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
The Chronicles of Riddick
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

Deleted:
A bunch of the old reviews.